I was reading old messages between friends the other day and I find my initial unawareness interesting. Before I had awakened to the world and the illusions that it portrays, I was lost; just a lonely, confused, and sad little girl. Although this was the case, some of the things I said as that lost little girl were extremely conscious thoughts. I remember depression like it was yesterday. Oh how my ego loved it. I remember how good it used to feel to cry; not because of anything that happened to me, but just because I felt sorry for myself. My ego bathed in the self-pity and indulged in the sorrowful tears I cried. I used to think that there was something wrong inside my head. I felt alienated from my thoughts just as I had kept myself alienated from my feelings. In one of the messages I sent to my friend, I had said “…things haven’t started getting better for me yet and the fucked up thing is that my unhappiness is mostly in my mind.”
The actual profundity in this statement was unknown to me. It invigorates me to know that even in my darkest hours, I had already begun to wake. I see now that my depression was, just as I had guessed, a derivative from my mind; my thoughts. I have learned now that emotions are by-products of our thoughts. The only two emotions that are real are Love and Fear. I’ve always liked what Henry Ford said, “Whether you think you can or you can't, either way you are right.” There is much to be learned from this statement. When it comes to the big picture, this statement means that we have more control over our lives than we think. And it occurred to me… if our physical world can be affected by simple thoughts, who is to say that most sickness, is not a by-product of bad physical health, but a product of bad mental health. This may not be the case in many instances but think about it… For all we know, this reality is an illusion made by our minds and nothing is real.
